


The Follow Up

by boundxdoll



Series: Therapy Sessions: Ian Gallagher [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mention of abuse, Talking, Therapy, talk about rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boundxdoll/pseuds/boundxdoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey talk about the therapy session, and Ian makes a request of Mickey that is a little hard to swallow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Follow Up

Once Mickey and Ian were able to find privacy in their bedroom, Frank's old room, Ian began to talk. It was a monumental moment because Mickey had no idea what he was about to be told. He couldn't begin to comprehend how bad it might be but he knew that something bad had happened. When telling him what happened, Ian spared most of the details, he knew what he was about to say was heart breaking enough.

Mickey wasn't prepared for this.

The dark haired male sat there listening to Ian word for word with his hands balled into fists gripping the comforter on their bed. A lot of things made sense now, a lot of his behavior held reasoning. Now he knew why Ian told him he'd stay if he blew him anytime he wanted. Now he knew why it took him a while to convince him to stop dancing, to stop taking pills, he knew why all of that happened and he wanted to go find these monsters and kill them, slow and painful.

Mickey tried to hide the horror on his face, he tried to remain as calm as he could for Ian's benefit, when Ian finished telling his story, Mickey wrapped his trembling arms around him and pulled him close.

"I want to kill them." Mickey murmured as he buried his tear streaked face in Ian's neck, stroking his tattooed hands up and down Ian's back. "I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you...I...fuck I..."

"It's not your fault, it's not so don't even try to blame yourself." Ian cooed to him, he knew telling Mickey would be tough, he knew that he'd end up comforting the other, and honestly it made him feel a little better. To be the one comforting him instead of vice versa.

"It's not your fault either, don't you ever think that it is." Mickey choked, holding him tighter as if he could make the horrors of what happened just go away. The older male knew better than anyone that things didn't work like that. He knew that nothing could really make the past vanish, no matter how much love you felt from the person who mattered the most.

"I know...I know it's taken a while but I know." Ian answered with a whisper. "I never wanted to tell you, I never wanted to tell anyone because of how ashamed I am of what happened to me." The redhead admitted biting into his bottom lip.

Hearing that, Mickey pulled back, looking directly into Ian's eyes, with so much compassion in his own. Pained by the truth now on the surface, feeling like he had failed to keep Ian safe. "You had no idea it was going to happen, you didn't know what the guy would do, you have nothing to be ashamed of...you were trusting people you should have been able to trust. You had no control over the situation." Mickey's words were soft, hollow in the sense that all of his emotions were rubbed raw, and partially he was talking to himself, to the horrors from his own past.

Ian swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded gently. He didn't want to argue, and he knew it was pointless because Mickey was right. He shouldn't be ashamed of something out of his control. He was more ashamed of the person it made him become, the things it did to his mind, than he was of what happened. Reaching his long slender fingers up he stroked Mickey's cheek gently, and smiled soft as Mickey leaned into the affection.

"Mickey, I've been thinking, and I don't want you to get mad for what I'm about to say, alright?" His words were said with a cautioned tone. He knew how --even after all the growing up Mickey had done; volatile he could be when sensitive subjects were brought up.

Mickey looked worried for a moment he had no idea what Ian was about to even say and honestly it frightened him a little. The cleaned-up-thug was pretty insecure about their relationship, even with his dad out of the picture buried seven feet deep --just for good measure; in some unmarked grave Mickey still had some problems with his sexuality, with openly being in a relationship. "I won't get mad--or I'll try not to." Mickey compromised.

It was like Ian could read Mickey's mind when those insecurities flared up and while he wait for an answer he took Mickey's hand and held it in a firm grasp, rubbing circles with his thumb because he knew it calmed Mickey down. "I think you should consider getting therapy too." Ian finally replied in a near whisper, as if trying to be as gentle as he could towards the very fragile, self-proclaimed badass.

The words hit Mickey like a shot to the chest, was he really that bad? Did he really need therapy? He swallowed the outrage the suggestion provided, holding onto Ian's hand tighter as he reasoned with himself before he had the ability to lash out. "Why the fuck do I need therapy?" His tone rang with defensive tendency.

Ian took it a step further, occupying Mickey's other hand and doing the same he had been doing, both hands, double the comfort. "Because it couldn't hurt, because you can tell her anything. Because no matter how strong you are there are issues you probably should resolve." Once more Ian's words were as gentle as possible without sounding condescending. He didn't want to offend Mickey more than he already might have.

Mickey let out a huff of breath, pulling one of his hands out of Ian's grasp and reaching for his pack of cigarettes he lit one and held the pack out to Ian who took and lit one as well. Looking down at their intertwined fingers Mickey took a deep inhale from the tobacco stick and looked up at Ian before blowing out the smoke. He was thinking over Ian's words, trying to form an argument as to why he couldn't go see a therapist. There wasn't a valid one.

Mickey thought about all the things Ian had been through at Basic Training and how it took so much courage to even be able to admit them to yourself let alone a perfect stranger. He thought about these things and it left him questioning why he was so afraid. He hadn't been through anything as remotely horrific, sure he had his fair share of abuse, and the thing with Svetlana was definitely something that still plagued him to this day. It was rape. He knew that, he knew that his father had orchestrated his very own sexual trauma, but it still felt like so little to what Ian had experienced. Taking a shaky breath Mickey looked at Ian and chewed his bottom lip. "I'll go to therapy on one condition." Those seven words taking more courage than most anything else in his life. 

Ian was getting nervous, it was taking Mickey a while to respond to him, and he didn't know what to expect, or what the boy might do, or say so when he finally spoke, Ian found himself exhaling a cloud of smoke he had been holding since the last drag he took off of his cigarette. "What's your one condition?" Ian asked cautiously, eyeing the other as he waited for his response. 

"I want you to come with me." Mickey said in one breath, nervous to ask that of him, afraid Ian would tell him no, that he had to do it alone, something Mickey didn’t think that he could do. He didn’t think he could honestly sit in some strangers office and spill his guts about what a horrible existence he had growing up under Terry’s wrath. He didn’t think he could talk about the times his dad and mom would fight, or anything else that he had experienced in his life to this date. There was more to it, he would have to talk about things involving Ian too, things that had an effect on his mentality, because if Mickey was going to do this he was going to do it right. He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it, or gloss over the details. 

The request was a lot simpler than Ian thought it might be, it was reasonable, and he didn't see why he wouldn't be able to fulfill it. Sure it would be hard to hear it all out there in the open, but he had laid most of his trauma bare to Mickey so it was only right, and perhaps it would bring them closer together. They could share in their recovery and become better people because of it. "Mickey, I'll go with you, I'll to every session with you if that's what you want, I want to be there for you." Ian's words almost caught in his throat as he said them with so much love and adoration. 

It felt like there was a weight lifted off his shoulders when Ian said he would go with him, it was unexplainable how much it made him feel lighter, but the soft smile on his face said it all. Delicately he leaned in and pressed his lips to Ian's kissing him for more than one reason, love, gratitude, and healing. He wanted to take the pain from Ian and swallow it down for himself, that was him, he was the kind of man who would nail himself to a cross if it saved the people he cared about from experiencing any form of suffering. Mickey Milkovich was a martyr of the worst kind. He didn't die for what he believed in, but he killed himself over and over by putting more weight on his shoulders than he could bear. He'd spent his whole life just barely surviving so others could live. Maybe now he could let some of that go.


End file.
